Apt142’s Blog

For those that know me in real life, the following will been an outdated update that you will say “duh” out loud to.

For those few that actually come across this later, it might be big news.

I’m unemployed.

That’s right. I have no job at this moment except to find a job.

And it’s tough out there, very tough. I consider myself an intelligent guy with a reasonably in demand set of skills. I’m your standard run of the mill white collar worker too. Which, according to statistics are the type of jobs most likely to find employment.

And let me tell you folks, I’m having trouble. I’ve made it to the final round of elimination 3 times now. Each time, I’ve been squeaked out by factors I’ve not been made privy to.

So, how am I dealing with it?

That’s a good question self. I’m glad you asked.

The answer, at first, was not so well. I’m not the sort of person that does well at selling themselves. I feel confident in my skill set and I think I do great work based on the feedback of peers and past bosses. The problem is, when you sit me down in front of another individual, I’m extremely uncomfortable pushing my skill set like a used car salesman pushes clunkers.

The result is that it’s extremely stressful to me. I’d much rather hand them a bunch of phone numbers and have them call people I worked with previously. I think they’d get a better impression.

Add in the fact that I felt, initially, that my layoff was my fault and my poor expectations that I’d get a job quickly and you have a hell of a stress blender.

I’ve gotten better though. Somewhere in this whole mess I’ve learned a few things. And I wanted to share those.

1) I wasn’t happy with my past job. I just wasn’t. I thought I was. I thought I was still adjusting to the office environment. But, truth be told it was making me miserable.

And, do you know what, that’s not a terrible thing in hindsight. Because I learned something very important. I learned what I didn’t like in a job. Which is as much if not more important than knowing what you like.

2) I never know what decisions will take me where at this point. I’ve recently open myself up to telemarketing. I’m a web developer by trade and there is very little reason to be located in any one part of the world for the type of work that I can do.

This has let me dream some about possibilities. It has also taught me faith. Somewhere out there is a position in which all my ideals and ambitions for a job will be fulfilled.

It has also taught me to re-evaluate what I want out of a job. What is the purpose of having a job. What role does it play in my life above and beyond paying the bills?

And that’s very, very important to think about. And very, very easy to overlook while you’re rat racing.